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Why
Guitars are better than Men
- Guitars don't get pregnant.
- You can play your Guitar any time of the
month.
- Guitars don't have parents.
- Guitars don't whine... unless you want
them to.
- You can share your Guitar with your
friends.
- Guitars don't care how many other Guitars
you've played
- Guitars don't care how many other Guitars
you have.
- Guitars don't care if you look at other
Guitars.
- Guitars don't care if you buy Guitar
magazines.
- You'll never hear, "Surprise, you
are going to proud father of a new Guitar" unless you go out to
buy one yourself.
- If your Guitar is flat you can fix it.
- Your Guitar doesn't care if you never
listen to it.
- Your Guitar won't care if you leave up
the toilet seat.
- You don't have to be jealous of the guy
who works on your Guitar.
- If you say bad things to your Guitar, you
don't have to apologize before you play it again.
- You can play your Guitar as long as you
want and it won't get sore.
- You can stop playing your Guitar as soon
as you want and it won't get frustrated.
- Your parents won't remain in touch with
your old Guitar after you dump it.
-
 Guitars don't get headaches.
- Guitars don't insult you if you're a bad
player.
- Your Guitar never wants a night out with
the other Guitars.
- Guitars don't care if you're late.
- You don't have to take a shower before
you play your Guitar.
- If your Guitar doesn't look good you can
refinish it or get new parts.
- You can play your Guitar the first time
you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet
its mother.
- The only protection you have to wear when
playing your Guitar is a decent thumb pick.
- When in mixed company, you can talk about
what a great time you had the last time you played your Guitar.
and last, but not least:
- If you decide to part with an old Guitar,
you don't have to give up half of everything you own.
Even More Reasons
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WHY GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN
MEN
- Guitars don't work late.
- Your Guitar stays as clean as you want it
to.
- Guitars don't have parents or kids.
- Guitars don't get sick.
- Guitars don't get overweight, unless you
like the Jumbo style.
- If you say bad things to your Guitar, you
don't have to apologize before you play it again.
- Your Guitar always has time for you.
- Guitars don't watch TV.
- Guitars never need a shave, nor do they
have hair on their backs.
- Guitars don't snore.
- Guitars don't leave a mess in the kitchen
or bathroom.
- If you don't like the length of your
Guitar's appendage you can get a new one.
- You can try out as many Guitars as you
like before you get your own.
- You don't have to feed your Guitar.
- Guitars never argue, you are always
right.
- Guitars never wake you up in the middle
of the night, for any reason.
- Guitars never try to show you off to
their friends.
- Guitars don't come home drunk after a
night out with the other Guitars.
- Guitars don't sneak around with other
Guitars.
- Guitars don't care what you look like or
what your age is.
- Guitars don't care and don't comment
about what you spend your money on.
- Guitars don't care if you have to work
late.
- When you're playing, your Guitar doesn't
care if other Guitars are bigger or better.
- Guitars don't care about their
performance.
- Guitars don't get you pregnant.
- Guitars don't have mothers.
- When you've finished playing, you can put
it away.
- You don't have to praise a Guitar after
playing it.
- Guitars don't sulk.
- Guitars don't bore you.
- Guitars don't abandon you at gatherings
for more interesting players.
- Guitars don't have to prove anything.
- Guitars don't try to change you once
you've bought them.
- Guitars don't get jealous of your male
colleagues.
- Guitars never interrogate you.
- Second-hand Guitars don't brag about
previous owners.
- Second-hand Guitars don't go to see
previous owners when you're out of town.
- You don't have to explain to a Guitar if
you don't feel like playing tonight.
- Guitars never put you down, yet you can
put them down whenever you wish.
- Guitars don't complain if you wear
"sensible" clothes.
- Guitars don't have egos.
- Guitars don't need remote control units.
- When you're lost you don't have to argue
with your Guitar about stopping to ask the band for directions.
- When your Guitar is being played too
slow, you can speed up.
- When you need someone to play with, your
Guitar is happy to accomodate.
- You buy the tools your Guitar needs; it
doesn't buy tools that never get used.
- You don't have to continually assure your
Guitar that its string length is just right.
- You determine the length and frequency of
playing, and you're always in control.
- Your Guitar never finishes before you do.
- Your Guitar doesn't complain about your
going out to dinner with your women friends rather than staying at
home with it.
- You never get helpful suggestions from
your Guitar's mother.
- Your Guitars will allow you to play it
even on Super Bowl Sunday.
- Your Guitar never complains if you put on
a few pounds.
- When your Guitar is dysfunctional you
know how to get it fixed (and knowthat it can be fixed).
- Your Guitar will never earn more than you
do for the same job just because it's a Guitar.
- Your Guitar never spends a "night
out with the Guitars" and comes home with a strange rash on its
fretboard.
and last, but not least:
- Your Guitar will never turn into a beer
bellied blob of wood and metal on the couch in front of the TV.
Even More Reasons
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